Kayla collides with her past…

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Kayla

“Kayla? Kayla Dutton?”

I’d made it two steps before I stopped and turned at the sound of my name, sure that I was mistaken about the source of the voice.

“Todd Gail?” I blinked and stared at the man who was approaching me.

Smiled despite myself.

“I thought that was you,” Todd said.

He smiled, his eyes crinkling at the corners in that way that was so familiar to me. Then, after a moment’s hesitation, he pulled me into a strong embrace.

I hugged him back for a moment and then stepped back and looked up at him.

Todd was tall, though not quite as tall as Elias. 

I frowned at the thought of Elias intruding on this moment, much as he had the rest of my life, but quickly fixed my face into a smile.

“Funny seeing you here. This doesn’t seem like the type of place,” I said, gesturing at the elegantly decorated French bistro. It somehow managed to look both timeless and modern, and a meal here was about half a semester’s tuition at state college. 

That was probably why Vahe had chosen it.

I pushed thoughts of Vahe aside and refocused on Todd. 

I couldn’t help but think back to my freshman year of high school. He’d been new to the city and my school, and after one look, I’d been in love. He’d eventually returned the feeling, and we’d become inseparable.

Until life—and Elias—intervened.

Todd smiled. “I know it’s not chili dogs and onion rings, but I’ve grown up a little bit,” he said.

I nodded approvingly at the tailored navy-blue suit he wore. The blue brought out the rich tone of his brown skin and was cut to perfection, showing off his lean yet strong build and the broadness of his shoulders. “You have.”

He tugged on his own blazer. “Yeah. I even own more than one tie, and none of them are clip-ons,” he said.

I smiled even brighter, finding that hard to believe.

“I remember when it was all I could do to get you into a collared shirt,” I said.

He shrugged. “What can I say? You gotta dress for the part, right?”

“And what part is that?” I asked, meeting his eyes.

His smile dropped slightly, then he nodded toward his table. “I’ve finished my meal, but do you want to grab a drink and catch up?”

Before I could answer, my phone started to buzz.

I didn’t look at it because I knew exactly who it was.

Didn’t miss a beat before I made my decision.

“I’d love to,” I said.

Todd lifted his arm, and I touched his elbow and followed him to his table.

He waited until I was seated before circling the table to sit down.

“Lemonade still your favorite?” he asked, gesturing for the waiter.

“It is,” I responded, laughing.

How many times had we done this? Well, not this exactly, but I couldn’t even begin to count the number of times I had sat across a table from Todd, me drinking lemonade, him with his cola.

It felt so familiar.

And alien.

“Lemonade for her, and a diet cola for me please,” he said.

“Sir, we do not have lemonade, but I can have the mixologist prepare a lemon spritzer,” the waiter said.

“Sounds great,” Todd responded with a smile.

“Diet?” I asked after the waiter had gone. “I’m still addicted, but you always said diet soda was a curse upon mankind.”

“Well, that’s easy to say when you’re eighteen. I’m not eighteen anymore,” he said.

“No, you’re not. Me either,” I responded.

Todd smiled and then leaned back, clearly studying me. 

I wasn’t bothered by his appraisal.

If nothing else, I had always felt comfortable with Todd and trusted him. 

Had loved him more than almost anything once upon a time but refused to examine the fact that those old feelings hadn’t come rushing back.

Instead, I watched him watch me and wondered what he saw.

I knew what I saw when I looked at him. 

An attractive man, one whose innate goodness only made his physical appearance that much nicer. He still kept his hair close cropped. He’d told me how he hated the curls that he had to manage if he let his hair grow out.

His dark golden-brown skin was smooth enough to make me jealous. Even in the thick of our teenage years, he’d never had acne, and having met his father before his death, I knew Todd would look the same for decades to come.

Todd really was one of the good ones, inside and out, and I felt a familiar insecurity creeping up. 

Back then, it had taken him a long time to get me to believe he wanted me—plain old me—when he could have anyone he wanted. But he had. Had told me I was beautiful, and more importantly, that I was the best person he’d ever met.

After all I’d done—been forced to do—I wondered if he’d still say that now.

“You look good, Kayla,” he said, his voice breaking the silence. “Really good.”

I shifted in my seat, feeling a bit of discomfort that I forced myself to shake off. “You do too. What are you up to?” I asked, wanting to change the subject.

He shrugged, then lifted a brow. “I’m surprised your father didn’t tell you. I’m working with him now.”

“Oh!” I said, realizing that I spoke a little too loudly and a little too quickly. “He hadn’t mentioned it, but you know we…”

“It’s okay. No need to open what I know can be a bit of a touchy subject. I hope you don’t mind me working for him,” he said.

“Of course not. You’ve always gotten along wonderfully with my dad, and he really thinks highly of you. I’m sure you’ll be a great help to the company,” I said.

“Not as good as you. Truth be told, I don’t think he’s ever gotten over you leaving,” Todd said.

So much for not raising touchy subjects. 

But I waved a hand dismissively. “I’m sure he has.”

I smiled, my face starting to hurt from keeping the expression in place.

The waiter returned with our drinks, and I took a sip.

“I didn’t think I would, either,” Todd whispered a few moments later.

I looked up at him and saw the emotion in his eyes. Saw the hurt that I was responsible for putting there. Back then, I’d so badly wanted to explain why I had to leave, but fear had stilled my tongue. Now, I didn’t even know where to begin. “Todd…”

He shook his head, then smiled. “Kayla, you don’t have to explain anything to me,” he said.

I took another sip of my “lemon spritzer,” which tasted shockingly like lemonade, trying to do something, anything, to push away thoughts of the past I hadn’t come to terms with and a future I had wanted so deeply.

“Todd, I…”

He shook his head, then smiled. “I shouldn’t have said anything. But there has to be a reason I saw you here, and I didn’t want to miss the chance,” he said.

“Okay,” I responded for lack of anything else to say.

I waited, and Todd didn’t speak immediately.

But that was okay. Even after all that it happened between us, there was an ease of familiarity that the years of friendship, and then more, that had passed between us had developed.

I had hurt him, badly, but I hadn’t had a choice.

I’d had to protect the people closest to me, and he had been one of them.

That lies were the method I’d used shouldn’t matter. 

What mattered was that the darkness that had tainted my family didn’t taint Todd.

Still, in that moment, I couldn’t help but think about how things could have been different and think about the life that Todd and I could have had.

I’d had it all mapped out.

We’d finished school, get married. Have three kids. Two boys and one girl. A dog, miniature poodle or shih tzu. I’d let him decide.

It would have been perfect.

I looked at Todd and saw the patience, the hopefulness in his expression.

Blinked.

It could have been perfect. 

Because no matter what I’d dreamed of and hoped for back then, that girl was gone, and so was the life she’d imagined. 

But maybe I could still find something for the woman I was now.

I smiled at Todd, and he smiled back, his face more mature but still handsome.

Unbidden, an image of Elias, his perpetual scowl, his dark eyes, which alternated between soullessness and fire, filled my mind.

I pushed it away.

Elias got enough of me.

This time—and Todd—were for me.

“You know I just want you to be happy, right? That’s all I’ve wanted whether we were together or not,” Todd said.

Words Elias would never say, but I reminded myself that didn’t matter.

“I’ve wanted the same for you. Always,” I said.

I put my hand on top of the table and covered Todd’s.

“I know. And I know I didn’t respond…well,” he said.

He’d been heartbroken and then angry when I’d broken up with him. Had said some things I knew he regretted, but nothing he’d said or done had approached what I’d deserved. 

“I know, but it was a shock. Me breaking up with you came from nowhere, and I didn’t handle it the best I could have,” I said.

“It was a shock. But that’s the past now. We were just kids. And I don’t have any hard feelings. If nothing else, I hope we can be friends. We were friends before we were anything else, and that friendship was important to me. Still is,” he said.

“I—”

Whatever was going to say was cut off by the buzz of my phone.

“Somebody’s eager to talk to you,” Todd said, looking at the phone that lay next to me.

I didn’t bother to look. I knew exactly who it was—the same person who’d called twice before—just as I knew I was pushing my luck.

“Do you mind?” I asked.

Todd shook his head, and I stood, took a few steps away, and then answered the phone.

“Hello?” I said, not bothering to hide the annoyance in my voice.

“The driver’s waiting for you. Get back here. Now,” Elias said.

He hung up before I could respond, and I stared at the phone, not that it was the phone’s fault he was such an asshole.

I walked back over to the table but didn’t sit down.

“Duty calls?” Todd said, the expression on his face one I couldn’t quite read.

“I’m sorry, but it does,” I responded, not allowing how close to the mark he’d hit to show on my face.

He stood, and this time he hugged me without asking for permission.

I pressed my body against his and hugged him tight. Felt the familiar pang of nostalgia. Held him a moment longer, hoping to feel something else.

When I heard a throat clearing behind me, I pulled away. 

I turned and looked at Narek, one of Elias’s men, who had driven me over. He gaze was aimed at Todd, and when he looked at me again, I saw that he looked almost apologetic.

That told me all I needed to know.

I turned back to Todd. “It was so good to see you,” I whispered.

“You too, Kayla. And I hope to see you again soon,” he said, a little smile playing on his face.

I nodded and then walked away. 

With each step, thoughts of Todd faded. 

In their place came nerves about what was awaiting me. 

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